You have found your dream man. He’s good looking, successful, and treats you well. There is one problem, which is his mother. As far as she is concerned, you are the devil in a pair of black patent leather pumps. Of all of the girls her perfect little boy had to choose, why did it have to be you?
You can get through this. Parents love their kids and would do anything for them. Just as women have the idea of their perfect mate, parents have formed images of the perfect spouses for their children. It is more than likely that you don’t fit her image.
Don’t worry because all is not lost. Make friends within his family. Your number one friend should always be your spouse, or fiance. He may have a solution to the tension. He knows his mother, and may know the root of the problem. It may be that he had a girlfriend in the past that she liked a lot.
If there are other sisters-in-law, make friends with them. The same thing may have happened to them. Your husband will have to have a selection of married brothers for this plan to work.
If he only has sisters or is an only child, tread carefully. Sisters generally side with the mother. In that case, you will have two adversaries to contend with. But if this is the case, there is still hope. You must know some politics and people management skills.
Now is the time to use all of the skills that you learned in the office. When you got the promotion that the girl a few cubicles down wanted, it took all the finesse she had to not glue your phone together. It took ever more charm and skill to invite her onto your team, because she really does know a lot about the department. Your people skills paid off. Today she is one of your best colleagues. When all else fails, this technique will work with your mother-in-law too.
Tuning into Finesse
First you need to find a way to tune down the tension. If she’s picking on you at the beauty shop. Allow her to speak. Give her some coffee. Give her a seat. Make her as comfortable as possible. The worst thing that you can do in this situation is to disagree with her. If you give in to her, you are actually controlling the situation. BE as nice to her as you can. Do this with anyone she may have talked about you negatively too. Eventually they will learn you’re not the devil and move on.