Final night, I obtained a telephone call from a girl friend. It was the eve of her fiftieth birthday, and despite the fact that she is significantly better adjusted than most, it was still a big deal for her.
I’d make the reminder for gents that there is an inherent and powerfully structural biological distinction for girls of this age, as they experience an inline incarnational loss of life around this age – the childbearing particular person they had been since their early teenagers comes to an finish, and a structurally DIFFERENT person comes into being.
So this is NOT about self-importance or prettiness; it is a lot more than that on each degree and it was little marvel that my pal felt unsure. What she did NOT need to happen is to enter this first night of the 50th 12 months of her life filled with regrets, worries, sorrows and loss of life; she wanted one thing better than that for herself, a celebration to help with this threshold moment, delineated by the way in which we measure time and depend the days.
We might have simply chatted away the final remaining hour and a half earlier than the clock struck 12 midnight and attempt to ignore this factor; however I did not really feel that this was applicable as it’s a highly personal transition so we began to debate an acceptable transitional ritual.
Moderately than now performing some form of “death rite” the place one gets involved with all the ne’ermores throughout one’s complete life, reminiscent of, “I will never hold a child of my own in my arms again…” and “I will by no means dance to the Rolling Stones reside on the Catacomb in a miniskirt again…” I steered we focus instead just on the year that had simply passed, yr 49.
What had occurred throughout that year?
Properly rather a lot, actually. My buddy obtained to stay in home by the seashore she at all times wanted. She had written and printed her first book. She had written her first hymn, had her first public exhibition of her paintings and had swam with dolphins.
And how far more superb nonetheless to contemplate that if we had been to journey again in time by just two years, to her forty eighth birthday, and we discussed what may be to come, and I might have prompt just one among these items, she would have NEVER believed it possible and laughed at me.
So what might yr 50 probably hold in the way in which of recent surprises and unfoldments?!
We can not know.
But one thing we are able to know is that it is a year of latest life, of recent experiences, of latest challenges, triumphs and moments of glory.
And it deserves to be stepped into proudly, and gladly, and in full acceptance of what’s going to be to come.
It was decided to ring in the second with an exquisite tub, by candlelight and a glass of champagne.
To spend the time earlier than 12 midnight to present gratitude for what had been, and to spend a time of meditation after firmly turned to the long run, to have the space to ask for things which may have waited for a few years to be finally fulfilled and experienced; to have the house to ask for surprises and to declare one’s readiness to step, very actually recent, clear and brightly new, into the new 12 months of life right here on this incredible world.
That is what my pal then did, by herself, for herself and it was delightful, magical and entirely special an occasion, without regrets and instead, with a robust lifting and affirmation of life, and love of life.
She slept very nicely, and when within the morning a field was delivered from which a helium balloon burst with massive numbers 50 written on it, which additional showered her carpet with small glowing items of foil, all with “50” imprinted on it, she laughed in delight and said, “That is going to be marvellous year…”
Blissful Birthday, Nicola!