Death can be a very difficult aspect of life to deal with in the first place. When a death occurs during the holiday season there can be a profound sense of loss that is well outlined by the obvious hole left in the family. When it comes to handling holiday deaths you have to just look inside and follow the belief system that you are most comfortable with.
The picture is easy to paint but hard to bear. You sit down next to the foam dog bed and look to the most innocent to bring joy to the holidays, shuffle through these feelings. When that doesn’t work you’re not sure whether you’re supposed to carry on or cancel the entire holiday. Often the answer lies not in man’s best friend’s silent answer, but in the rest of the family gathered around.
Unfortunately there will always be varying opinions on how to handle this situation emotionally as well as practically. Simple gifts like baby bath toys and race cars are wrapped and ready, but the loss of the parent or grandparent can be more devastating than you know. Checking in with everyone is essential.
Some people indicate that the decision can be made based on who it was that passed away. Not every family agrees with this and there can often be great arguments that crop up. The entire family needs to be able to come together and discuss the possible solutions and try to agree on the next right step in the process. There are often young children to think of, and young children do not always equate death with sadness because they do not completely understand.
Older children might feel that holding the holiday might be disrespectful. They often have a strong sense of duty to the morally right, even if they tend to take it too far, as older children are defining their belief system. When you have both older children and younger children in the home, you may not be able to get a consensus.
Families that do not have children to consider still have each other to consider. Often there is just no way to ensure that everyone will get on the same page and offer the same feelings. Instead, many of the family dynamics will lead to bantering and bickering. This can often just lead to more confusion.
The gifts that were left behind and the gifts that were purchased will still be there. It’s very difficult to know the right way to help your family through this. Is it better to return the jewelry or the latest kindle or should you pass them on to someone else? Should you open the gifts or leave them in their packages? Only you can find the answer that you feel your heart believes is right.